Third Separation: A Tale of a Goddess

It took me more than 10 drafts, a year, and a different country to finish this blog. I simply wanted this to be one of the best I'll write... ever. Because leaving her is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Because our friendship meant more than any other kembot. Because it's so damn hard to say goodbye. And because the person I'll write this for, she's simply... epic.

I've mentioned her a few times already. Isa sa closest friends ko since HS. Di pa ko beki, friends na kami. In fact, sya ang dahilan kung bakit ako naging beki -- at least in theory. A great influence in most of my decisions. Kunsintidor sa lahat ng kalandian, kabaklaan, kagagahan, at lahat ng "ka-han" sa buhay ko.

My Personal Goddess of a friend.

Once upon a time, there was a prince named Cristian. He lived a life of comfort. But he was not happy. All he wanted was... to be a princess. To be a woman. To be a swan. To be a lady. And so her quest for happiness begins, with a single blush -- and three palettes of Urban Decay and Mac make-up.

Let's call her Princess Gwen.

I consider Princess Gwen a modern kembot to our fairy tales. Rainbow Version nga lang sa ate ko. In her own beki version of a fairy tale, she is the princess.

Kung si Rapunzel, nakakulong sa tore... sha naman akala mo eh nakawala sa tore. Princess Gwen is like a loose canon. Para shang yung bullet na nakakasa sa baril. Laging on edge, laging on the go. Isang kalabit mo lang, boom na boom na, paw na paw pa! Pak, blagag, boink! Sobrang out of the box mag-isip ng lola mo. One time, while hanging out sa Ihaw-Ihaw sa Taytay, she blurted out. "Punta tayong Baguio." Nung tinanong ko kung kelan, she just said "Ngayon na. Bili tayo ng walis." Just like that, nagsiakyat kami sa Cordilleras, walang man lang akong baong panty! We didn't buy walis though. Strawberries lang, tsaka extra panties, tsaka pampalit na shirt, tsaka pasalubong na sweets, tatlong plastik ng fresh broccoli, isang bote ng taho milk, isang plastic ng baby potatoes, at isang box ng yellow cab na inubos ng isang batang autistic. It was one of my craziest out of town trips.

Siya si Cinderella, before pa maulila. Nung time na buhay pa si Mudak ni Cindy at wit pa Wicked si Stepmother. Nung time na sagana pa sa pagmamahal si Cindy. Until now, di pa dumarating ang Wicked Stepmother sa buhay ni bakla. Pero she has her stepsisters. Di nga lang wicked -- minsan. Kaming apat ang magkakasama lately, lalo na before ako umalis. Mas madalas nga na sya ang kontrbida eh, kasi sya naman yung talagang maldita sa totoong buhay. Kumbaga, sya ang Cinderella version na malabong mapagmalupitan ng stepmom kasi luluha ka muna ng graba at aspalto.

She is Snow White, the Huntsman, and the Evil Queen, rolled into one... at sangkatutak ang dwarfs nya. Princess Gwen is the fairest of them all, and she's never hesitant in claiming it. In fact, her greatest fear is dying ugly. She may be rude at all times sometimes dahil sa pagka-narcisistic, pero marami pa rin namang naaaliw. Madalas, magte-text yan sa min ng "Gosh, ang baho ng katabi ko!" or "OMG may putok yung manong driver", o kaya pagsakay sa taxi, biglang iispluk ng "Manong bat amoy paa?" at minsan pa, "Masasapak ko tong panget na katabi ko eh, tinapakan ako sa paa. Ang putiiiikkk!!!" At dahil mahilig shang magpaganda, natural eh obsessed sa muk-ap ang maldita. She is my muk-ap artist, my stylist, my photographer, and my creative director.

Like Mulan, she is also fearless and brave. Nung minsan, me isang barkada kami na kumukuda sa madilim na eskinita ng Malate. Pagkatapos ng krimen, biglang me dalawang manong na nagdeklara ng National Holdap Day, at pilit na nanghihingi ng anda. Sa di ko maintindihang dahilan, napapayag nila ang mga manong na sumama sa taxi kasi "kukuha kami ng pera sa bahay". Ayun, dinaan nila sa presinto ang taxi, at presto, nag-milo marathon ang mga lolo mo. Pero shempre di naman ahat ng holdaper eh shunga, me smart din naman. Nung isang beses na naholdap sila, kinukuha ni manong ang nyelpown ni Princess. Bigla ba namang kumuda si bakla ng "Bat sa kin lang kinukuha nyo? Sya din kaya may cellphone, mas maganda pa." Sabay turo sa kasama. Saya di ba?!

Pag umiinom kami at me dumaang aso na di kagandahan, aarte yan ng konti, kunwari matatakot, o kaya biglang mawawalan ng emosyon sa mukha. "Ay, bat ang pangit nung aso? Not so fetch!" Madalas pag sa mga social sites like fb, twitter or forums, moro-moro ma'am. Account ko ang gamit, pero salita nya ang mga kuda. Awayin si ganito, kudaan si ganyan, landiin si gento, akitin si genyan. At pag magkakasama kami, laging me bitbit na dslr, at automatic na naka-upload ang pics pag-uwi, at naka-tag lahat ng barkada namin.

Princess Gwen is one of my friends who are really generous. Pag muk-ap session namin, branded talaga lahat ng kinukuskos at pinapahid nya sa fezlak ko. Me pricelist nga lang na nakakabit bawat hagod ng brush: "Sis, alam mo ba kung magkano to? (Insert amount here) ang bili ko dito. Sayo ko lang ginamit to. Naku kundi lang kita mahal. Mapupudpod ang (insert branded name of make-up product here) sa mukha mo." Pero generous din sha sa papuri. Kaya after ng muk-ap session, feeling ko eh ako na ang pinakamagandang bektaz sa balat ng bekilandia.

Sa food, sa gastos, sa ambagan, sa inuman, sa pamasahe, sa paglandi. Ilang beses ng nangyari na kumembang kami na magkasama na pati TF nung otoko eh sha ang givesung. We've shared a lot of things, including our dirty laundries. Sharing ng mga tubal. We've shared countless massages, showers, beds, motel rooms, eskinitas, bathrooms, barong-barong, bakahan, kulot, payatot, twink, tambay, coño, magpinsan, magkuya, magbarkada, and a lot more things, na kung iisa-isahin ko eh di na siguro matatapos ang entry na to.

Isa sa mga pinakamalaking isyu sa buhay beki. Magpapa-gurl ba? Mananatili bang BM? Dapat ba straight-acting, discreet, paminta, peppermint, baklang maton? Or magre-rely kay Dianne, Pilar, at Ester?  Being with her, seeing how she receives love from men, I'd definitely say na being pa-girl has its perks. One time, naglalakad kami sa kalsada papunta sa -- hold your breath -- perya. Biglang may tumigil  na boxibelles sa tabi namin. Ask ni manong taxi driver san ang gora namin, ispluk ni bakla, sa perya nga daw. "Sakay na kayo!" imbayt ni manong. "Ay wala po kaming pera e," ispluk naman ni bakla. Mam, nilibre kami ng sakay ni manong, ako nga lang pinaupo nya sa harap. At hinatid talaga kami sa peryahan ng Rosario. Eto pa, nung minsan na kumukuda ako sa bukid, di ko talaga kinaya. Habang bumoboda akez sa ilalim ng puno ng mangga, yung kinukda ko mam, nakatitig sa picture ng lola mo. Imbis na i-enjoy ang service deluxe kong pagsi-singalong, ayun ang otoko, nakatitig sa pagmumukha ni Princess Gwen, at ini-imagine na gurl ako.

Like all other fairy tales, our heroine also wishes to meet her own Prince Charming. Now I can't do anything about that. She has to kiss a million frogs first, before she can kiss an actual prince. Ang lola mo nga lang, ine-enjoy ata lahat ng frogs. May jowa pa sya dati na ang peg lagi eh kant*t-marino. Kaloka! Kung frog din yung ganun, ay kebs na sa kulugo! Come on, kuya! Marine-sex me! Choz!

Princess Gwen is extraordinarily special. Yes, she has her flaws. And if you ask her about it, she would readily admit that she also has weaknesses... that is yet to be discovered. Wala pa raw sa ngayon, baka pag nag-sag ang balat nya or nagsulputan ang wrinkles nya, saka pa lang aamin si bakla. If she were a song, "I'm every woman, it's all in me" would best describe her.

I wrote this song poem a few months ago for this particular entry:

~~~~~~~~~~ --0O0-- ~~~~~~~~~~

Shine

You are Cinderella without her glass shoes

You are Snow White with no dwarfs

A Rapunzel with a short hair

You're a Princess with no Prince

You're a wishless Jasmine

Or Ariel without singing

You're Wendy without fairy dust

You are your own fairy tale

You always feel alone because stars blaze on their own

Let their worlds revolve around you

You are your own star

You're meant to shine the brightest no matter how dark it is

Let their hearts beat for you

You are your own star

You're Glee without Wil Schuster

You're Friends without Ross and Rachel

You're McSteamy without McDreamy

You're Lois Lane without Clark Kent

Believe that you are happy

Warts and all, you'll be

Believe that it is destined

You will shine again soon.

Because, my soul sister, you are your own star.

~~~~~~~~~~ --0O0-- ~~~~~~~~~~

Sis, you know that I love you very much. I can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me. And this separation makes me want to go home real soon and just be with you and our friends. But we both know that this is where I'm supposed to be. This is my Neverland. This is my happy thoughts. And this is where we say goodbye.

You're in good hands sis. Skathy and Sha-me, the two lovely stepsisters. And your Kambal sa Uma. And Adelaida, watching from afar. I'm pretty sure they will take care of you. Alam naman nila kung gano ka kaarte at kung gano ka kalandi. Kilala nila kung gano ka kadalas magbakasyon sa MedCity. Kabisado nila kung kelan ka nagsisinungaling, at kung kelan ka naglulubid ng buhangin at nagpapala ng semento. Sanay sila sa mga inarte at tantrums mo. I'm sure they will always be there for you sis. Because just like me, they love you so much.

As for me, distance is just a physical barrier. 8509 miles is not important. What's important is this: you will be forever in my heart. You are my sister from a different mother.

This is a fairy tale that has no end... yet. Because its pages are still being written as days go by. One thing is for sure, this story will have the sweetest, grandest, happiest Happy Ending. Because she deserves it. And because she was, she is, and she will always be... A Princess.

I love you Sis.

To the moon and back.